How To Resolve Conflicts In A Relationship

Nurturing a relationship is vital if you want to stay together. Bitterness, irritation and constant stress between two people not only affects their personal mindset but also the people around. Learn to resolve fights and arguments by saying “Sorry.” But many find it hard to say this. It is important to understand that if you are wrong, admitting your mistake is the right thing to do. An argument doesn’t need a winner or a loser.

When in an argument, avoid bringing up the past as it will add more hostility. It is best to remain calm and above all forgive and forget. If you have to disagree then do it devotedly. There will be many occasions when you and your partner will not see things eye to eye. Learn to accept people as they are and adjust whole-heartedly.

Learn to be persistent in showing that both of you like each other and want to better your relationship at every stage of your life. This will create harmony and balance in your lives for years together.


date yourSELF

This past year, I have come to appreciate the power of truly loving myself. Most of my life, being alone was one of my biggest fears. I found myself in numerous relationships for the wrong reasons and ended up settling in ill-fitting ‘partnerships’. This deeply rooted fear and lack of understanding of myself caused the relationships to become my whole world; my focus of attention; my center. I would sacrifice my own goals for the other person. And, when the relationship collapsed, so did my sense of self.

Through much introspection, I realized the source of these failed relationships was myself. I realized that I didn’t truly love or appreciate myself and had relied on external sources for love and approval. I decided to change. I had to overcome my fear of loneliness by finding independence and personal freedom. Even since I found true appreciation for myself, the quality of relationships I have attracted has been phenomenal. I have discovered that the more I loved and understood myself, the less I feared being by myself, and the more healthier relationships I was able to attract into my life.

I started doing what I called “Dates with myself“. Regardless my external relationship status, I would schedule time with myself. I would literally take myself out on a date and spend that time totally focused on myself. It’s my time. We spend so much time and energy focused on others that we forget to recharge the source of that energy. It is only when you are well that you can have the energy and internal resources to make a positive difference and help others. This is a simple, yet powerful concept that can dramatically improve your wellbeing, effectiveness and mental health.

Women who have good men cheat on them

Why do so many women who have good men…cheat on them….and women who have bad men…usually more often than not…stay with them?

People have been asking this age old question…well, for ages! The problem is much more complex that we could ever imagine. Think about it: Here you have a perfectly good man, who goes to work every day, helps with the housework and is a pretty much all around “good guy”. Next, you have his wife or his woman. This perfectly good man finds out some how, that his woman has cheated on him. Heartbreaking to say the least! The question is…why? Why would a woman cheat on a perfectly good man? There’s no universal answer for this one I’m afraid.

The reason why I say that is because, no one really knows what is going on inside of this woman’s head or heart. There is a strong possibility that she is just plain unhappy. Now before you come out of your underwear…let me say, yes, it appears that this woman may seem to have nothing to be unhappy about. But do we really know that? Do we know what their sex life is like? What is their financial situation? Are there any other major stressors going on in the relationship? Even though sex isn’t everything…it is an important part of any healthy relationship that should not be taken lightly.

Communication is very important, and many fail to inculcate into their relationship. So when the communication lines are closed…bad things will happen. Whether it’s infidelity, over-spending or some other tragic means of wrecking what seems to be a perfectly good relationship…it will happen when both parties fail to talk (to each other, not to your best girlfriend!) openly and honestly about what you are feeling. Being afraid to hurt a “good man’s” feelings is not an excuse to by-pass telling him the truth. ie., I’m not happy, I’m not in love with you, our sex live is stressin’ me, our finances are stressin’ me” Whatever the case may be…talk about it.

Now, for the second half of the question:

Why do women who have bad men…usually more often than not…stay with them?
Many women, crave bad men. They do! The “bad boy” image has been sought out by many women! Thinking rationally, most women do not want a man that will physically, financially, or emotionally abuse them. How women view themselves often determines what type of man she ends up with. If she allows herself to stay with a man who treats her inappropriately, her self esteem will slowly whittle away until she feels as though she has no choice but to endure what is dished out to her. She feels desparate and may feel as though she deserves to be treated this way, when in fact, no one deserves to be treated like an animal. Even animals have certain rights!

So let’s break it down. Why would a woman, stay with a man who is not good for them? First of all, every woman who stays with a “bad man” has their own reasons. Some women who grew up in homes where they may have felt they were not valued, neglected or abused emotionally or physically, may grow up feeling that’s the only kind of relationship that’s possible. They may feel that drawn to neglectful or abusive men because those types of relationships are familiar to them. Most of us automatically avoid the unknown and unfamiliar. Some women who were abused or neglected as children, or grew up in homes where their mothers were abused even if the children were not, unconsciously seek out similar men in attempts to triumph over their childhood circumstances. They (and other trauma victims) may feel compelled to put themselves in similar abusive or neglectful circumstances again and again, each time believing they’ll have a different outcome. It’s an attempt to master the past trauma by convincing themselves (and perhaps others) that NOW they have control over the situation. But of course they usually end up being hurt again.

Some women who deny their childhoods were unhappy, neglectful or abusive, or who have amnesia for much of such childhoods, end up in what psychiatrist Richard Kluft has called “sitting duck syndrome” — repeatedly abused in one relationship after another because they’ve got blinders on for the warning signs. If they allowed themselves to see (and feel) the danger signals of abuse and neglect, they might recognize those signals were also present in their childhood relationships with parents or siblings, and thus have to face some unpleasant realities about those childhood experiences. They may rather (at an unconscious level) continue to believe their parents were nonabusive, preserving their relationship with their parents at the cost of being able to recognize and respond to hurtful attitudes and behaviors in other relationships.



All would envy

All Would Envy Lyrics Old Enough To Be Her Dad but The Young Men Were Just Mad They Nursed Their Greivances and She Was Flattered By His Charm it Wouldn’t Do Her Any Harm They All Had Their Chances he Sent Her Flowers And Limousines she Was Treated Like A Queen anything She Ever Wanted it Was No Problem For A Man Like Him and Everyone Expected Soon that She Could Ask Him For The Moon If She Would Wear His Ring knowing Glances From His Friends in The Homes At The Weekends Of High Society but He Didn’t Give A Damn he Never Felt More Like A Man and All The Time The Clock Was Ticking chorus: and All Would Envy the Older Man And His Beautiful Young Wife yes All Would Envy in A House Apon A Hill she Was There With Time To Kill she Lived A Life She’d Only Dreamed the Life Was Never What It Seemed to All Her Friends That She’d Ignored she Denied That She Was Bored she Had No Time For Dancing – No Time For Dancing but The Clock Upon The Wall that Was Ticking In The Hall Always Reminded Her that Life Was Going On Elsewhere but She Was Happy And She Would Swear She Wouldn’t Change A Thing chorus: and All Would Envy the Older Man And His Beautiful Young Wife yes All Would Envy now Its 5 O’clock Am she Must Have Spent The Night Again With That Old Friend Of Hers she Loves To Dance she’s Missing More And More These Days but He’s Still Stuck In His Old Ways perhaps She Needs A Little More Romance but The Clock Upon The Wall Is Still Ticking In The Hall she Must Be Home Soon – Soon where A Younger Man Would Weep he Takes A Pill And Goes To Sleep now Who Would Envy The Older Man And His Beautiful Young Wife? who Would Envy? – Who Would Envy?

Becoming FULLY human

In the time of your life, live—so that in that good time there shall be no ugliness for yourself or for any life your life touches. Seek goodness everywhere, and when it is found, bring it out of its hiding place and let it be free and unashamed. Place in matter and in flesh the least of the values, for these are the things that hold death and must pass away. Discover in all things that which shines and is beyond corruption. Encourage virtue in whatever heart it may have been driven into secrecy and sorrow by the shame and terror of the world. Ignore the obvious, for it is unworthy of the clear eye and the kindly heart. In the time of your life, live—so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite delight and mystery of it.